Exciting news! Our understanding of love addiction has evolved significantly over the years. Instead of getting distracted by focusing on addictive-processes or addictive-thinking, The New Love Addiction places emphasis on the neuroscience and physiology of secure and insecure attachment and bonding.
The attachment styles of preoccupied-anxious attachment and avoidant attachment are better explanations for love addiction and codependency. Our new understanding is now based on empirical data and solid research and not based on pathologizing or judging people as addicts.
We can explain the physiological processes and behaviors of love addiction without ever once referencing a disease-based model of addiction with its harsh assumptions about underdeveloped lack of will, defective character traits, or living with a (vaguely defined) personality disorder. The truth is that love addiction is about trauma and emotional, developmental PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder.
The behaviors and symptoms of love addiction are trauma symptoms and mostly express themselves as all trauma symptoms do; namely as some form of hyper-arousal, anxiety and overwhelm, also as some form of obsessive thinking or intrusive thoughts that hi-jack cognitive focus, and finally as some form of a constricting shut-down feeling where we no longer live life fully engaged. All behaviors are fueled by a hormonally-induced overload of attachment distress or its extreme counterpart referred to as “primal panic.”
In this video, Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach, Alan Robarge explains both attachment injuries and emotional, developmental trauma as the origins of love addiction. From years of experience working with clients both in-person and via phone counseling, he explains the importance and value of understanding love addiction as a neuro-physiological experience instead of a psycho-social addictive one. For anyone who has felt confused or alienated by the addiction-model explanation; then this video is for you.
Alan Robarge answers the questions, “What is the new love addiction?” and, “How do we need to change our thinking?” Healthier, secure attachment is possible. We first must give ourselves compassion and realize that the painful suffering of love addiction is rooted in childhood trauma. It is perpetuated by dysfunctional-thinking. There is hope for healing.
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Alan offers phone or video counseling sessions to clients and is available in-person in Philadelphia.
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